I was sitting alone on my lawn feeling frustrated, angry, sad, and depressed. For several days I’d avoided people and refused to make any commitments. I wanted to be left alone. While the details leading up to that difficult week have been forgotten, one general theme stuck with me: I’d begun to reject the notion of myself as a creative person.
Like I said, I was sitting on the grass and out of the blue I heard “You are here to live in joy.” I turned to see who had spoken. No one was there.
I didn’t know what to think, but I knew that I’d clearly heard the words.
My self-imposed time out gradually came to an end. I resumed tasks and for the next 25 or so years, I worked at a job and at being a wife and mother. Once in a while, I’d think about that afternoon. I read a couple of books about how to feel joy, but I never really did it. Not until 2018.
The message is delivered again.
I’d purchased an online painting class and the book Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks was on the recommended reading list for the class. I bought the Kindle version of the book and started reading. On page 8 in bold type I read, “You said, I will live in joy.”
In the paragraph that followed, I read:
You said, “I will go forth into the physical time-space reality among other Beings, and I will assume an identity with a clear and specific perspective. I will learn to see myself from that point of view, and I will enoy being seen as that point of view….You said, “I will love pouring myself into this physical body, into physical time-space reality, for that environment will cause me to focus the powerful Energy that is me into something more specific. And in the specifics of that focus, there will be powerful motion forward—and joy.”
I didn’t know what to think. But I kept reading.
On page 23, I read:
By paying attetnion to the signals of your emotions, you can understand, with absolute precision, everything you are now living or have ever lived. By understanding your emotional connection to who you really are, you will come to understand not only what is happening in you own world and why, but you will also understand every other living Being with whom you interact.
Now, I felt stunned. Here someone was saying that my emotions could help me understand myself and what was happening around me. I’d been trained through all the years of my life to control my emotions, hide emotions, and to insert logic before emotions in every circumstance, because reason and logic (as we’re also taught) are reliable while emotions unreliable and lead to Trouble.
Fast forward: Why was that the best reminder ever?
Because I’m learning to honor my emotions and when I focus on feeling good, I FEEL good and things go well for me. When I let negative emotions shatter my focus, I don’t feel good and things don’t go as well. These things are true. No exceptions.
Disallowing and misunderstanding emotions are only ever what holds me and you apart from feeling good, living with more joy in our lives, and CREATING the lives we want to live.
With every thought, we have a choice to make. When thoughts are:
- Should I trust myself?
- Do I know enough?
- Am I smart enough?
- Am I worthy enough?
- Is fate working against me?
- Do I deserve ________?
You feel negative emotions. When you choose to not trust yourself or feel worthy, or when you blame fate or someone else, you feel negative emotions. These negative emotions are not signaling us that we’re wrong or bad or stupid. We feel negative emotions because we judge and value ourselves based on what we perceive others will think about us. Always.
Feeling emotions is the way to understand with absolute precision everything you need to know about you and what to do next and next and next. By paying attention to how you feel and understanding that when you feel bad, you’re going against yourself for no good reason, it becomes easier and easier to live more joyfully.
I don’t expect you to take my word for any of this. You shouldn’t.
We learn through experience. If you want to learn to create you life deliberately, check out Ask and It is Given or listen to Abraham Hicks on YouTube—when you’re ready to believe in and trust yourself.